There are many emotional abusers in denial about the pain they are causing others. They ignore their own behavior and the negative consequences of that behavior. If you find yourself dating someone who abuses you, you should end the relationship. They will not change and they will not get any better unless they personally see the need for it.
Abusers will not easily face the facts about what they do and they may try to twist situations around to make themselves appear innocent. If you are a man who is dating a woman who treats you badly, or a woman who is starting a relationship with a man who wants to mistreat you, you should evaluate your situation clearly.
Abusers have a tendency to minimize their own problems and the extent of their violence. They will deny their behavior outright and claim that they never did what other people clearly saw them do. For example, they will push someone down and claim that the other person just slipped or that both persons simply bounced into each other.
People who abuse others have a tendency to blame other people for their behavior. A woman will say that she had to throttle her three year old because the child forgot to push their carrots to the side of the plate and make space for their lobster. She may slap her male partner or deride him for a week because he bought one brand of margarine instead of another.
For men it is sometimes difficult to admit that they are being abused, since society tends to look down on men who are being abused. It is important to remember that an abuser does not need an excuse to hit, scream at, belittle or otherwise hurt you. You are not at fault for their behavior. However facing the truth early can help you to save your mental and physical health.
This article was previously published on Healthmad on November 2, 2012.