How do you focus on your future after a break-up with a loved one?
We all have suffered bad times. But isn’t it time we stopped dwelling on the here and now and focused on a better future?
We have all faced bad times in our lives. They are sent to test us.
To many, how we deal with such times can have a bearing on our future. Let’s say you break-up with a loved one. How you deal with a break-up can affect how you face your future. Dwell on it and the road ahead for the coming weeks or months can be a rocky one.
Why? Because if the split was that bad, it can imprint itself on your mind and you can spend day after day, week after week, month after month going through the reasons why. But do you get any real answer? Probably not, especially if the break-up was where two people still loved and cared for one another but just could not make it work.
I ask myself if I want to face a future of pain and suffering as I struggle to come to terms with a split. Yes it hurts immensely, especially if your affection for that person still exists. The frustration of not making something work, no matter how hard you have both tried, just ends in tears. I’ve been there and it is annoying, frustrating and very sad.
But what about the future? Plying your life into a hobby, your children, a sport or work can often help. It deflects your brain from concentrating on issues that perhaps surrounded your relationship. Whilst it is heart breaking parting from a partner you still love, the best gift you could have given them is the freedom to go and do whatever they so choose. To see who they want and to perhaps love again.
Whilst that sounds hard to imagine, perhaps looking at it that way will allow you to focus more on your own life and future. I do not have the answers, but I know what works and does not work for me. Whilst I carry sorrow and upset over a split, I also know that I can focus on areas of my life that perhaps need addressing and working on.
That can only mean a better me I have discovered. By being a better me, that means I become more aware and prepared for my future.
Hanging onto painful memories is hurtful only to yourself.
So try not to dwell when you break-up. Yes you will hurt for a day or two. Maybe for a few weeks. But if you love someone you will always carry them in your heart, no matter what the differences were between you. Try your very best to stop thinking about it and them and try to move on as you concentrate on yourself.
It won’t be easy. Usually anything can suddenly remind you of the better times you shared. If anything, try to remember them for the good they did. Everybody hurts at times. But dealing with pain and hurt can make you a better person in yourself – if you focus your energy into yourself.
Bitterness gets you nowhere. Let go and press ahead. Try and get your head in that better place. You do that and time will take care of your broken heart until someone new perhaps walks into your life. You will be richer for it and for them.
Time is usually the best healer. Because time is the future: It is also your future.
Author note: Based on personal experiences and research into given subject of “breaking up with a loved one”.